I FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT!!!

I went in for my teeth cleaning two weeks ago and told the doctor that I was feeling a lot of sensitivity to cold in my upper right molar area. So they took some x-rays. They couldn't find any cavities but (ALAS!!) they saw that a past root canal had become infected. Before I continue I need to make it clear that I am scared to death of dental procedures. Even the bi-yearly cleanings scare me. The fact that there is a drill, scalers (the sharp silver tools they use to scrape your teeth) and ultrasonic hoses are all cause for alarm. When I heard that there was an infection in a root canal, I knew that I was in for a serious procedure. When my normal dentist referred me to an endontist (a root canal specialist) my fears were confirmed. The procedure I had to go through required that my gums be cut. This would allow them to fold them over and expose a deeper region of the tooth. Here they would drill, find the infection, extract it and then clean the area. After that they would fill the hole with a synthetic substance which will hopefully help the tissue rebuild. Then my gums are lifted and sewn back on. PRETTY SCARY HUH? Take care of your teeth people and get them checked regularly!

So all of last week, I was living in fear. The best way to describe it is likening it to that moment when the roller coaster car is climbing that biggest drop of the ride and you sit there just waiting for the ground to drop out below you. If you like roller coasters that is not a good analogy. I don't. However, there was a point though were that fear became just a thought. It was like I could focus on the fear and let it define me or see it as just a thought and unreal with no physical attributes with which to influence my character or even mood. There was a certain sense of enlightening through that; an epiphany if you will allow. Yesterday when I sat in the operating chair and I could sort of feel them drilling and scraping (Dr. Shimizu did a great job of numbing my mouth), I couldn't help but think that what was going on was phenomena outside of my real being. My real being was somewhere else unaffected by what was happening to my mouth. I know that this kind of experience can't be fully described. I gained some sense of calmness and strength through it though. I hope that the effects of the episode linger. It is kind of like a Budhist interpretation of the Judeo-Christian sense of "this too shall pass". Am I making sense?

I will end my entry with some random pictures I took. Maybe you can explain to me why I took them.